Do you ever have a moment when you look at your child, and think, “Where did they learn that?”
Sometimes it’s a bad moment. And sometimes, it’s the sweetest thing.
Take a moment, a few hours today, and observe your child(ren).
Are they kind? Do they show love? Do they read? How do they interact with others? How do they deal with stress? How do they dress? How do they talk?
Last week we talked about how to declutter our house and our minds. Today, I’d like for us to consider how we can purge behaviors/habits from our lives.
“You tell me to purge, assuming that my family is bad. That I am a bad mother.”
This job of motherhood is not easy, and there will be many failures on our part. We are imperfect, and never will be perfect at anything we do. Because I believe in God, I can pray to Him and ask Him to compensate for my failures, and to take my children under His wing always. I hope you will too. I sure hope my parents pray the same way for me.
I believe purging is a necessary thing to do in our lives. To examine ourselves, see where changes are necessary, and to accept affirmation as well.
So here are the first steps to purging you and your family of bad behaviors:
- Observe your child(ren) this week.
- Make note of the good and the bad.
- Share with your husband what you have observed.
- Pray for them.
- And now, soak in the good that you have noticed.
Because it IS our job to raise and instruct our children. (Ephesians 6:4) And they will be blessed if they honor and absorb good teaching (Ex 20:12) It is so hard to raise them. Painful, even. But they are worth our effort. They are worth the tears. Because it “will produce a harvest of respectability and peace” in their lives, and the lives they touch, if we make the effort. (Hebrews 12:11)
There are a lot of things I have noticed my son Elijah says, because of me:
- “mmm, that’s delicious”
- “no no Dassah!(his sister)”
- “ouch. I’m sorry. That’s ok”
- “James! Time wake up! Wake upppp!”
- “of course!”
- “Gasp! NO NO! What choo doing??”
- “stupid dog. No no Penny (our dog)”
The biggest thing that I have had to remind myself, over, and over, and over again, is that I have to assume that they don’t know the right way to act. During these early years, they can only REACT, and FOLLOW our example. Many times I punish my child assuming they know better. (Which is definitely true some times. And Moms, you know the difference.)
But many times, they don’t know. They need to be taught the truth behind their emotions. They need to learn to understand the consequences, and the heart of why they react a certain way. And there needs to be a replacement of action for them to pick up.
They only know the scope of their emotions. Or their habits. And it takes 21 days to break a simple habit, according to science, so it will take some effort, for sure.
So lets start a new purge. A purge of behaviors.
When that person cuts you off on the highway, observe your own reactions. Because your children see you too. When your child interacts with another child, observe them, and take action when you need to.
Don’t mistake me, I am not in the business of Behavior Management.
I’m after the heart.
Our hearts, and theirs.Let’s purge our hearts.