You’re anxious, upset and angry, yet so far, you’ve successfully postponed the blowout.
Stiff-arming the maniac.
“Take that Mr. Hulk!”
You open the doors of your home – and suddenly, your senses are assailed.
Some stench prevails;
Your ears perk up as you hear whining in the background;
And suddenly, all the feelings you had been stiff-arming come flooding to mind, stealing all semblances of sanity, leaving a shell of the woman you are, and replacing her with the woman who more resembles a monster than a mom.
This has never happened to me……more than once……this past weekend…..yesterday morning. Ok fine! It happens.
It happens to the best of us. It’s hard to control when all your senses are telling you that something is wrong, that EVERYTHING is wrong.
This is a lie.
However, getting angry enough, and seeing enough sad faces as a reaction, has driven me to seek for ways to combat this monster.
I call this the pt.2 to my Angry Mom series – please check out my previous blog for more help on how to stop being an angry Mom.
For now, let’s learn how to assail the beast with your 5 senses
Everyone has them. Sight. Sound. Smell. Taste. Touch.
When they all get overloaded, take a moment to think – physically remove yourself from the situation (outside, bathroom, adjoining room, happy place or a happy memory), and then go to this list for some ways to combat your anger with your 5 senses:
Sight: -Hairband Technique: See Previous article here – having this visual on your arm will have you mentally manage your emotions. -Find your happy place:I know this is corny, but it really works! Literally step outside or in the broom closet, choose a happy memory, and relive it second by second. Picture everything from the temperature, to your happy feelings, to even the food you might have eaten. Take deep breaths, and then get back to reality. If you can’t find a happy place, think back to a happier part of the day, remember why you were happy, why you love your children, and then remember that everything can change in a moment. SO, make this your turning point! -Clean: When you are overwhelmed by the mess, instead of letting the drill sergeant tear everyone apart, calmly take a deep breath, walk over to the microwave, and tell every person in the family that you are going to set a timer for 10 minutes and just clean up. Just 10 minutes. Let everyone choose a room, and ready, set, go. You’ll feel better with everything that you clean. Because results drive us! And this is an easy fix. Play a little music to help! -Let it go:Forget your to-do list for the day. Throw it out the window, because getting those things done today isn’t worth losing your relationship with your husband or children. You’re not quitting or being lazy; you are choosing your family over your list. (Let it go) Man that feels good doesn’t it. -Tennis Shoes:what is the most important part of any sport? Shoes! You can’t kick well, run well, or jump well without the proper foot gear! It’s no different in motherhood! Sometimes putting on tennis shoes is just enough of a psychological gear towards getting stuff done or changing your mood! Get it girl! [/su_tabs]
–Calming/fun music: (see link at the bottom for a free playlist!) This can be for you or for them! We moms won’t be the first people to use music to manipulate emotions – did you know that the music changes in grocery stores throughout the day to manipulate shoppers? Slow in the morning to manipulate moms into shopping longer, upbeat in the afternoon for the tired-after-work shopper to boost their mood. It works! Use this to your advantage!
–Sound-proof headphones: sometimes you need to cancel out the noise that is driving you crazy. They don’t have to be soundproof either, just enough to take off the edge of the whining noises, so you can address the whining to a better level of sanity.
–Candle: We all remember those fuzzy feelings we get when the smell of cookies wafted through the air as children. You can’t be mad when there are cookies to be had! So, recreate it! Light a candle! Get a cookie candle if you want, or something that just smells amazing. Take a big whiff and smile. See? You’re already feeling better. I wouldn’t argue with actually making cookies either 😉
–Clean: these are easy elements to take care of. When that trash can is overwhelming, or that fridge just stinks, or maybe the toilet, just take care of it NOW. It seems overwhelming, but when you actually set a timer, you’ll see that it’s only a 10-minute job. Ten minutes, now that’s not so overwhelming. (Disclaimer: don’t “angry” clean – this is when you start to clean and you look more like a runaway train cleaning and you stampede anyone that gets in your way. Deep Breaths – hee hoo hee hoo)
–Fight the Hangry: This is a real thing. When was the last time you or your kids ate? Are you hangry? If you or your children are suffering from this, do whatever you can to get those kids some food. Try and keep snacks with you or in the car to prevent this in the future! Tune out and ignore anything you may hear when someone suffers from hangriness.
–Brush your teeth: Fresh breath can be just the ticket towards feeling better. No one likes feeling yucky, and usually, mom’s hygiene is the first thing to go out the window when you have to take care of everyone else. If you’re trying to lose weight, this also helps you lose the desire to eat. Win-Win.
–Shock and Aww: What is the last thing that you expect when you are angry? You’re putting up a great argument with your husband and you are winning or losing perhaps. Or maybe you are just down in the dumps and everything seems wrong and you can’t get yourself to say you’re sorry, because it’s just that final turn of the knife in your heart – when all of a sudden you feel a kiss on your cheek. What? You look up, and it’s your husband, and he has just kissed you on the cheek, or your child has come over and kissed you on the cheek, and everything you were mad about is gone. You forgot, or you realized how silly the argument truly was. And suddenly, saying sorry isn’t hard anymore. Take a leaf out of their books and use the element of surprise. Give that baby a big hug, even when you feel like screaming at them in the moment. If they’re even more overcome with anger, or you are, hug them harder. Love covers all wounds.
–Do the next right thing: When your to-do list seems overwhelming, and you don’t know where to start, just do the next right thing. Reach out those hands and just start! DO the first thing that comes to mind. Results are drivers. Working hands can switch your mind gears.
–Double Tap: When a shepherd is guiding their sheep, they use their rod to guide them. It doesn’t have to be a sharp jab, sometimes a gentle tap on the shoulder or side can be enough of a driver to get moving, or to come to attention. Tap-tap. Excuse me? Did you hear me? Tap-tap, I said go to your room, Tap-tap, don’t yell at your sister.
FIVE is a less overwhelming, and more manageable number then 1 million. When everything has hit the fan, it’s time to balance the scales. Practice this today and see what works for you. Keep practicing, and eventually
And for Good Feelings, I’ve thrown in a free Happy Playlist that you can save in Spotify! Play this baby whenever you just need to feel happy fast! And add some more to your own playlists that you love! It’s good to have on hand.
Good Feelings Playlist
This is Me – The Greatest Show
Happy – Pharrell
High Five – Sigrid
Good Time – Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen
The Twist – Chubby Checker
Shut Up and Dance with Me – Walk the Moon
Happiest Things – Sound of Music
Footloose – Kenny Loggins
Good Morning Life – Dean Martin
Grace Kelly – Mika
Lay Me Down – Chris Tomlin
I Dreamed a Dream – Susan Boyle
I Can Only Imagine – Mercy Me
Alright Whatever Moms. I want to hear from you. What would you add to the list? Plus, don’t forget to capture your Whatever Mom moments on Facebook and Instagram with the hashtags #whatevermoms and #WhateverIsExcellent (or any other #whatevermommoment).
Check out my shop for some sweet whatevermoms products to own!