Family

10 Lies You Don’t Realize You’re Telling Your Kids

Have you ever heard the phrase – “You are just like your Mother/Father!”

…that’s because you are. You spent 18-something years with them and took on all of their habits – good and bad.


Here are some untruths that you are saying, that your kids will eventually pick up on (or already have):

  1. “I’m fine” or “It was fine”

The more honest you are, the more your husband and kids trust you to tell the truth as well. Even with a stranger, by telling them a snippet of how your day actually is, they will most likely either relate with you, or support you.

  1. These vegetables will make your {hair, beard,etc.} grow bigger/longer

Tell your children what the veggies actually do. For example, some foods make you poop better! Tell your kids that! Not only will they think its hilarious, they’ll actually learn something. Teach them what foods help prevent sickness. Then, when they are sick, you might just be surprised to hear them ask for something healthy.

Don’t know food facts? Look them up! Never be afraid to learn WITH your children! It’s a blast!

  1. “It’s chicken” – for anything that isn’t chicken

When we tell our kids that everything is chicken they will grow an intolerance to anything that is NOT chicken. You’re digging a grave for yourself and trading all of their future for this one battle.

(You can’t sing like that every time you want them to eat their food.)

Help your kids discover the deliciousness of all foods. Even if you don’t like peppers, encourage your children to try them. Just because you don’t like something, doesn’t mean they won’t.

  1. I’ll pray for you

We are all guilty of this one. Someone tells us something sad going on in their life, and we promptly say, “I’ll pray for you.” And then we never do.

A good remedy for this is to LITERALLY pray with them right then and there.

Set a reminder in your phone to go off every day. Write down in your calendar the doctor’s appointment they want prayer for, the visit from in-laws they’re dreading, etc., and let them know you are still praying for them.

It may be awkward at first, but I have NEVER heard anyone complain that someone prayed with them.

  1. Do this right now – or else! (but never following through)

Here’s an analogy for you:

A policeman is along the side of the road in his usual spot. You see him and you are going 40 over the speed limit. However – this cop has no uniform, no car, no badge, nothing whatsoever that indicates that he is an authority figure. All he can do as you speed flippantly by is shake his fist at you…Would you slow down?

 

That is what our kids see when we never follow through with discipline. When you fail to act, your kid learns that they don’t have to listen to you when you count to three, or say “or else”, or whatever it is that you do to get him to listen. They know when they have to listen. Most likely when you yell, or get red in the face – all that does is teach them to get others attention by doing those same things. Do you want your kids to yell or get angry at other people as they grows up to get others attention?

No one teaches this better than Dr. Dobson in – “The New Strong-Willed Child.” And your child does not have to be strong willed for this to be applicable to you. Borrow it from your Library on CD or buy it on Audible or Amazon. It’s a GREAT read.

 

  1. Watching that show doesn’t really affect me – or my kids. They’re too young.

For those of you who have watched The Office, you know how great Jim and Pam are. However, there is one season where they have marital issues, and it is hard for me to watch. For two days, I was agitated with my husband, and I had no idea why. And I told him so. There was no good reason.

That night, after we had finished an episode of The Office, I realized why I was so agitated with him – because Jim and Pam were not on good terms.

Sometimes I like to watch an episode while I am doing dishes. It passes by time and I don’t have to hate doing dishes as much. When my son comes over to interrupt me – I resent him. This was supposed to be time to myself. I wanted to enjoy this episode by myself.

Shows affect you. They affect your attitude, how you spend your time, and your family absorbs everything that you do.

Here’s another example – I grew up with scary movies, my husband did not. When I hear a noise at night, I freak out. I have scary images in my head. My husband does not…  Don’t watch scary movies.

“Oh be careful little eyes, what you see. Oh be careful little ears, what you hear.”

  1. “Santa Clause is REAL”

I realize that the tradition of Santa Clause is generally accepted, even in Christian circles. I even grew up with Santa Clause. But I think we can all agree (regardless of our stance on this) that Santa is, in fact, not real. So, when I was told he was real (year after year), I was consistently being lied to. In fact, when my brother found out Santa was made up, he was devastated.

Now, I’m not saying Santa shouldn’t be part of your tradition, but I think there is a wonderful alternative to spreading the age-old rumor about the jolly fat man and his reindeer.

Let’s tell our children about the real Santa Clause. Think about it.

Instead of believing in a fictional character for 5-10 years, whose only value is a twinkle in the eye, and toys you don’t need, you can teach your kids  about the REAL St. Nicholas – who helped the poor and needy around him by bringing them gifts and giving them money at Christmas.

Then, you as a family can practice doing the same thing. Believe me, it’s even MORE magical and the joy you will both give and receive will last so much longer than the Made in China toys.

It’s the best of both worlds. No need to throw away those decorations, stop sitting on Santa’s lap or watching Tim Allen’s greatest film (Santa Clause). Your kids will just understand what it actually means to be a true St. Nick.

One last note before I step off this soap box. If you are a Christian and you lie about Santa for your children’s entire childhood, why should they believe that Jesus is real. Food for thought. (I promise we can still be friends if you stick to your guns with Santa…just my thoughts).

 

  1. I didn’t mean it or, I’m just kidding

You do mean it. And the sooner you recognize that you feel a certain way, or that you put your foot in your mouth, the sooner you will grow and tackle this heart issue.

  1. “I’ll start tomorrow”

You wont. (9 out of 10 times) – My apologies to the exception to this rule.

Start today. Teach your kids to follow through with what they say.

Odds are, you feel guilty, or motivated right at that moment that you can do better. So do it! If it’s “I’ll eat healthy tomorrow”, skip that dessert TONIGHT! “I’ll walk in the morning” – go walking right now. Bring the kids or tell your husband, “I’m going for a quick walk.” “I’ll stop that bad habit tomorrow,” – No better time than the present. You can do it! Today!

  1. “It’s no big deal”

I think Chick-fil-A has it right when they say, “My Pleasure.”

You don’t want to teach children to be proud, but there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that something you did WAS, in fact, a big deal. When someone thanks you, and you say, “It’s no big deal,” they will believe you. When you smile and say, “It was my pleasure,” they will know that thing you just did for them was done as a labor of love.


If you could pass on anything to your kids, I think Honesty is the one thing that will set them up for success.

  • “Mom, I messed up.”
  • “Teacher, I don’t understand this.”
  • “Officer, I sped and I’m sorry.”
  • “Hubby, I don’t know how I feel right now, all that I know is that I’m moody. But it’s nothing you did.”

You are setting up your kid for such a good life. And when you are honest with them, honest in your failures, honest about your regrets and affirmation in choices in your life, honest with people, they will respect you, respect your authority, and become respectful, honest people.

So start today.

#whatevermoms – whatever is true. {Phil 4:8}

If you consider yourself to be a Mom that is pursuing truth in your life – add this hashtag to your daily tweets, instagrams, and facebook posts! How are you incorporating this in your life? What are some other lies that could be added to this list?

2 thoughts on “10 Lies You Don’t Realize You’re Telling Your Kids

  1. LOVE this!!! My kids were told that I was Psychotic when I told them Santa wasn’t real. To this day they “believe” for their dad’s sake…

    I’m still so guilty of the “tomorrow/later”, going to work on that!

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